Have you ever wondered what an artist is like when they're not taking part in the career that makes them a household name? You know...all those ponderings like: What makes them tick? Or maybe even: What ticks them off? Well, here is a little "unplugged" candid Q&A that I conducted with national bestselling author, Kendra Norman-Bellamy, that will give some interesting insight and fun facts about the woman rather than the writer. Who does she admire? What are her phobias? Who does she have a crush on? What is her greatest accomplishment? To find the answers to these questions and more, read on...
TS: First of all, Kendra, it's good to know that I'm not the only person who keeps ungodly hours like this. It's not everybody who I could conduct a telephone interview with at 2:15 in the morning.
KNB: Oh, is this considered late? Sounds pretty normal to me. (Laughing)
TS: Well, you're even crazier than I am. At least I know I have a problem, which means there's hope. You...you're a lost cause.
KNB: (Still laughing) Pray for me.
TS: I will. Anyway, thanks for letting me dip a little into your personal world to do this interview. You remember the one ground rule I laid, right?
KNB: Yes. No literary answers.
TS: Right. Are you ready?
KNB: Ready
TS: Then let's jump right in. As I told you when I first emailed you, I absolutely love your website. Rich, bold colors are always more eye-catching for me than pastels and such. Looking at it, I assume that green is your favorite color. Is it?
KNB: I'm glad you like it, and I can see why you might think that green is my favorite color, but no, it's not. As a matter of fact, until recently, green wasn't a color I paid much attention to at all. I like dark colors. For about as long as I can remember, my favorite color has been black, the darkest color there is. Purple is a close second. Here lately, though, I've developed a fondness for green, but it has to be a certain shade; emerald green to be exact. I began noticing it when I became a part of a professional Greek letter organization, Iota Phi Lambda Sorority, Inc.
TS: The first professional sorority founded by African American women for African American women, right?
KNB: Yes! You know of us.
TS: I've done my research...and was very impressed by the way.
KNB: Thank you. It's a great organization.
TS: Are you a member of any of the other sorority group? I understand that a woman can be a part of Iota Phi Lambda and be a member of, let's say, Delta Sigma Theta too.
KNB: Yes, that's true. Being a member of Iota Phi Lambda does not hinder a woman from being a part of one of the "Divine Nine" also. We have a Iot of members who are also Deltas, AKAs, etc. But no, I'm not a member of any others. I think my life is busy enough at the moment. I don't need to stretch myself too much thinner.
TS: I heard that. Since we talked about favorite colors a moment ago, let's segue into another topic of favorites. What are your favorite foods?
KNB: Seafood tops the list, then Chinese, Mexican, Italian, and soul food, in that order.
TS: Do you cook much?
KNB: I cook almost every day. I don't cook heavy meals though. I rarely fry anything or smother anything in gravy or heavy cheese sauces. I mostly bake and grill.
TS: Would you be considered a health nut?
KNB: No, but I do try to eat well. Like I said, soul food is one of my favorite cuisines, and hardly any of that is healthy. But I don't make a habit of eating it. I do it in moderation. It's important to me to be as healthy as possible and to try to keep my family healthy. God gave us only one body, which is His temple, and it's up to us to care for it.
TS: That's true, and when you put it like that, it makes me want to do better. Okay....who are your favorite non-literary celebrity figures?
KNB: President and First Lady Obama.
TS: (Laughing) Okay, that was too easy. They are the favorites of many people right now. So let's respectfully disqualify the Obamas. Besides our president and first lady, who are your favorites? For instance, favorite actors, recording artists, sports figures...
KNB: I'm not into sports, and haven't really had a favorite sports hero since the days of Michael Jordan, and certainly not since Brian Jordan left the Atlanta Braves.
TS: Are they related?
KNB: Ah-uh. At least not to my knowledge.
TS: What about actors and actresses?
KNB: I watch very little television, but my favorite actors are Hill Harper, Denzel Washington, Liam Neeson, and Will Smith. Actresses that top my list are Julia Roberts, Angela Bassett, and Sherri Shepherd.
TS: Sherri Shepherd? Really? That's not a name that you hear people list often as a favorite.
KNB: The funny thing is that I don't think I realized that she was one of my favorites until recently when it dawned on me that every show she's starred on in recent years became one of the few television shows that I watched religiously. There was The Jamie Foxx Show, then Less Than Perfect, and now, her own show, Sherri.
TS: I recently caught my first episode of Sherri, and you're right. It's a very good show. I watched her on Jamie Foxx's show too, and I see her almost every day on The View, so maybe she's on my list too, and I didn't realize it until now (laughing). Other than Sherri, are there other shows that you watch religiously right now?
KNB: It's a very short list, but yes. I watch CSI: NY, Criminal Minds, and The Brian McKnight Show.
TS: We have a lot in common. I watch all of those too. Do you have any other celebrity favorites?
KNB: I listen to a lot of music. And with an upbringing deeply rooted in Christianity, my favorite genre has always been gospel, and the list of artists that I listen to is endless. But my favorites are Melvin Williams, Fred Hammond, The Williams Brothers, Take 6, Vanessa Bell Armstrong, The Winans, Commissioned, Christopher McNeal, Men of Standard, BeBe & CeCe Winans... Oh goodness, I could go on and on.
TS: Okay, I'm very familiar with all of them except Christopher McNeal. Is that a new gospel artist?
KNB: There is a group called Christopher out of Dayton, OH. They've been together for a number of years; maybe even as long as 15 years, but I was just exposed to them a couple of years ago. The group is called Chistopher because, believe it or not, all three members of the group are named Christopher. I don't know if Christopher McNeal is officially the lead vocalist or not, but that's how I view him. Great voice. Awesome talent. All of them can sing, but he's my personal favorite group member.
TS: Hmmm...I'll have to check them out. Okay, I know gospel is your favorite music, but you have favorite singers in other genres of music, right?
KNB: Two words...Brian McKnight. I can get lost in a good romantic ballad, and in my humble opinion, when he's at his best, no other balladeer can touch him. I also enjoy India Arie's neo soul sound, Stevie Wonder's legendary vocals, and Joss Stone's soulful jazz. There are a few others too, like James Ingram, Jeffrey Osborne, Anita Baker, Kenny Lattimore and Chante' Moore, Boyz II Men...
TS: What about musicians? Kenny G? George Duke? Sheila E?
KNB: All of them are music geniuses, but when it comes to musicians, my favorites are gospel saxophonist, Antonio Allen, and jazz trumpeteer, Melvin M. Miller. Neither are as widely known as the ones you named, but they should be.
TS: You have one of them playing on your website, don't you?
KNB: Both of them actually. Antonio's music is on the home pages of my official website and on the KNB Publications website. Melvin Miller's music is playing on one of the secondary pages of my KNB Publications website. I can't remember which page, but he's on there.
TS: So when it comes to secular music, is it fair to say that you're more so drawn to the mature type? I don't want to label it all old school, but you know what I mean. Grown folks music. You're not into much pop, hip-hop, or rap.
KNB: When it comes to music, I appreciate good lyrics, not just a good beat, and there are just certain things that I don't allow access into my spirit. That's not to say that all hip-hop and rap lyrics are inappropriate because that's not the case. But everybody has music that they prefer and music that they don't. I don't prefer hip-hop, pop, or rap.
TS: Okay, enough about arts and entertainment. What do you like to do for fun?
KNB: Write
TS: Out of bounds! Foul! Flag on the flield! That's a literary answer.
KNB: Oops...sorry (laughing).
TS: Okay, before I rephrase the question, let me set some new boundaries that only apply to this one. Not only can't the answer be anything regarding your literary life, but it also can't be associated with your church life or your family life either. So other than writing, ministry related events, and family stuff, what do you like to do for fun?
KNB: (Laughing) Well, dang...you didn't leave me much to work with, did you? Okay, well, I've been fortunate to do quite a bit of national and international traveling in recent years, and I thoroughly enjoy that. Especially cruises - I think I could go on three cruises a year and not get tired of it. My travels have really opened up the world to me. It's been fun going to new places and meeting new people. I also like participating in functions with my sorority sisters and just spending quality time with close friends. Good friends and good fun always go hand in hand.
TS: Do you have many close friends? I'm asking that because I'm a writer, so I know that writing can be a lonely existence due to all of the seclusion that's needed to do it well. With all the writing that you have to do in order to meet your publishers' demands, how large is your pool of friends?
KNB: Okay, why is it that I can't talk literary, but you can?
TS: Because I set the rules, and I didn't say that I couldn't ask a question using literary references, I said you can't give answers with literary references. Now, answer the question and stop trying to be a smartie pants!
KNB: (Laughing) Yes ma'am. Well, actually, that's a good question. I'm a person that doesn't use the term "friend" loosely. I have several acquaintances, but I don't have a lot of close knit friends. I guess to answer your question thoroughly I'd have to understand your definition of the word "friend."
TS: For the purpose of this interview, let's define "friends" as people you talk to on the phone regularly, spend time with regularly, and confide in regularly.
KNB: Well, that narrows it way down for me. Under that definition, I'd say I have three close friends; one female, who is also an author, and two males; one of which is my cousin, and the other is a young man that I've known since high school.
TS: Your male friends outnumber your female friends?
KNB: No. I have some tried-and-true girlfriends who go back with me as far as our elementary school days. but I don't talk to them on a regular basis. And we live in different parts of the country, so I don't spend time with them either. But they will always be my best girls. I do have my fair share of male friends though. Many of them, I've been friends with since high school, and others I met through career connections, ministry events, and other dealings in my adult life. The male cousin I mentioned is probably my best friend in the world, and I have three sisters and one brother, and growing up, my brother was always my closest sibling. Maybe I'm a bit weird, but that's the way it is.
TS: No, not weird, but definitely interesting. I don't know many women with male friends who are only friends.
KNB: I know, but it can definitely be done. That's probably one of the reasons why you find such strong, positive male figures playing the lead roles in my books. My whole life, I've been surrounded by good, strong male role models, starting with my dad, my brother, and my husband, and spreading to my circle of male friends.
TS: Ahhhh...you found yet another opening to slip in something literary.
KNB: Did I? Oh yeah, I guess I did, huh? (Laughing) Sorry.
TS: Don't be. You can't help it apparently. You know what they say. You can take a girl out of the ghetto, but...
KNB: I'm not sure I like that analogy, but yeah, I know what you mean.
TS: (Laughing) Forgive me, girl. That was the best I could come up with at this time of the morning. Let's move on so both of us can get to bed. What about goals? Do you you have unreached goals or dreams that you strive for?
KNB: I hope I never stop dreaming or striving. There's always more that God has to offer. I have a number of accomplishments that I pray to reach before my life here on earth is done, but most of them I can't divulge without breaking your "no literary talk" rule. However, I do want to reach a level in life where I can provide for my parents. My father and mother are in their 70's now, and as I watch them get older, one of the things that I want to do is repay them for all they did for me. We weren't a wealthy family by any definition. My parents often struggled to provide for their five children. I want to reach a financial status wherein I can make them completely comfortable in their twilight years.
TS: That's a beautiful thought. I hope it happens for you because I really believe you mean that.
KNB: I do.
TS: Do you have any phobias?
KNB: Funerals
TS: You're afraid of funerals?
KNB: I'm not afraid of funerals per se, but if I stand or sit too near a casket, I have panic attacks. It's something that I developed after the death of my first husband. So I avoid funerals as much as I can, and if I have to go to one, I don't sit near the casket, and I never walk around to view remains. As a matter of fact, I avoid looking at the casket as much as possible.
TS: Wow. I guess losing someone that close to you can have long term effects. I never thought about that before. I would love to talk about that more, but we'll save that one for another inteview.
KNB: Okay.
TS: What irks you more than anything else?
KNB: Disingenuous people. My tolerance level is below zero for fake, hypocritical folks. People who smile in your face, but really mean you no good; people who pretend to celebrate the successes of others, when inside, they really hope it doesn't last; people who callously abuse the people they call friends by using them for all they can get out of them, and then tossing them to the side when they feel they no longer need them....all of that falls under the umbrella of disingenuous. That's the kind of stuff that irks me.
TS: Amen! Me too, girl, and I've seen and experienced a lot of that in my lifetime. And please forgive me if I offend you, but sometimes it can even be found among people who call themselves Christians.
KNB: Offend me? Are you kidding? As a matter of fact, let's be completely honest, T.S. It can be found especially among people who call themselves Christians. I could stomach it so much easier if it were coming from those who didn't profess to have a personal relationship with Christ. It's a sad commentary, and I wish it weren't true, but Christians....or should I say church folks...can be the messiest, most unrighteous people to deal with. But believe me, God's Word is true and it tells us that we reap what we sow. That kind of stuff comes back to you eventually. That's why we have to be careful of how we treat or mistreat others. People like that aren't doing anything but blocking their own blessings.
TS: You're preaching for real now, but I'm gonna move on because I get the feeling we could go on all night about so-called Christians and their foolishness.
KNB: Yes, let's move on. I'm getting mad just thinking about it.
TS: Me too. Okay, breathe, T....breathe (laughing). Switching gears to something way more pleasant....What's the best gift that anyone has ever given you, and who was the giver?
KNB: God was the giver. Well, I guess my husband...my first husband... should get a little credit too (laughing). My two daughters, Brittney and Crystal. They are my greatest gifts, by far.
TS: Awwww. That's sweet. Speaking of which, your daughters aren't little girls anymore. Your oldest is twenty, right?
KNB: Right. They are three years apart. One is a sophomore in college, and the other is a high school junior.
TS: Girl, does anybody ever believe you when you tell them you have kids that age?
KNB: I admit that I often meet people who will challenge me on it as though they know more than I do about my age and the ages of my children. It's flattering, and I just say, "To God be the glory." Age eventually catches up with all of us, so I'm going to embrace this time in my life when the aging process is being kind enough to lag a few yards behind.
TS: So what you're basically saying is that you're not going to share the make up tips or skin care secrets that hold the answer to your fountain of youth?
KNB: No. What I'm saying is that there are no tips or secrets to share. The truth of the matter is that I have very sensitive skin, so I wear very little make up. And my only "fountain of youth secret" is that I have overactive oil glands. Those natural secreting oils help to keep the skin looking younger, but that often results in me battling with acne in my 40's. I'm not sure anybody wants to adopt that kind of skin care secret. It helps on one end, but can become quite a challenge on the other. I've lived with it all my life, so I've learned to manage.
TS: I don't know. I think I'd welcome a little adult acne if it resulted in people asking me if my daughters are my sisters. You really do carry your age well, and I'm sure your children are looking forward with the hopes that those youthful genes will pass down to them.
KNB: Thank you. Life passes so quickly. It seems like it wasn't that long ago when I was my daughters' ages and younger. When we women were little girls, we couldn't wait to grow up, and now that we are maturing women, many of us want to revert back to being younger girls. I just love life; it's a gift from God, and I embrace it at every age.
TS: That's an excellent mindset. I'll try to remember that on days when I'm feeling ancient (laughing). But let's talk a little about when we were little girls. I'm in my forties too, and I've been in love many times and have been married twice, but I still remember my first crush. Did you have a secret crush on anyone when you were a child? Like was there a teacher at your school that every time he walked in your classroom, your insides just melted into a pool of good-for-nothing? Tell the truth now.
KNB: (Laughing) I know this may not sound like the truth, but it is. There was never a teacher in my childhood that had that kind of affect on me.
TS: Come on, Kendra. You're telling me you never had a secret crush on anyone? I'm sorry. I don't believe that. I think every little girl has a crush at some point in her life.
KNB: I didn't say I never had a crush on anyone. I said I never had a crush on a teacher.
TS: Oh....okay. So who was your first crush and how old were you?
KNB: I was fourteen, and my crush - if you want to call it that - was on Melvin Williams.
TS: From The Williams Brothers?
KNB: That's the one.
TS: You know what? I saw him perform on television recently, and I promise, if I had been blind, I would have thought I was listening to Frankie Beverly.
KNB: Yes! I told my husband that just a few days ago. We were driving somewhere in his car listening to the radio, and Frankie Beverly and Maze were singing. I turned to my husband and said, "Does Frankie sound like Melvin Williams to you?" He looked at me and said, "No, Frankie does not sound like Melvin Williams; if anything, Melvin Williams sounds like Frankie." I was like whatever. The point I was making is that their voices are very similar. I love Melvin's raspy vocals.
TS: So you had a crush on Melvin Williams (laughing). I guess when you grow up in the church, you find everything in the church, including your crush.
KNB: I guess so.
TS: But let's back up because I caught something you said earlier. Why did you say "if you want to call it that" when you mentioned your crush on Melvin?
KNB: Well, I've always viewed a crush as something that was fleeting. It lasts a few weeks, maybe a few months, maybe even a couple of years, but after that it's over, and the "crusher" moves on to another "crushee" at some point.
TS: So what are you saying? Your Melvin-itis broke the time limit barrier? How old were you when you finally moved on?
KNB: (Laughing) I'll let you know when that time comes.
TS: Get outta here! No, don't get outta here... give me more; give me more.
KNB: The short version of the story is that I was swept away by his voice when I was 14 years old. I heard him singing the lead vocals in a song that was playing on the radio back then. I didn't know his name; didn't even know what he looked like, but I was totally smitten.
TS: Just by hearing his voice? Don't get me wrong, I like Melvin too, but you have to admit that there are a lot of other voices in the gospel music industry that are more polished than his.
KNB: More polished, yes. But apparently none are as potent (laughing). At least not as far as I'm concerned because not one of those other voices have ever impacted me like that.
TS: Okay. Go on. You heard him on the radio, and then what?
KNB: Yes. Then a few days later, I found out the name of the group that was singing, and a few weeks after that I did my research and found out which member of the group was Melvin Williams. But it would be years later...I think I was 22...when I finally got my first chance to see him perform in person.
TS: And you were still crushing all this time?
KNB: Uh-huh (laughing). I guess you could say I had it pretty bad. I was buying everything The Williams Brothers put out just so I could have his picture and hear him sing whenever I wanted. Now, teetering on three decades after hearing him sing that very first time, I still buy every album they release. But here's the kicker...Melvin and I have met on a number of occasions now. He and I know each other on a first name basis now. We have worked together in ministry several times and have become pretty good friends in recent years...yet I still have to prepare myself when I know I'm going to see him, speak to him, or hear him sing. It's no secret. Everybody who knows me well (including my husband) is fully aware of my "Melvin-itis." Believe me, I've taken my share of good natured ribbing from friends and family over the years.
TS: Does Melvin know?
KNB: Yes, but thankfully, he's gracious enough to be a good sport about it. He probably thinks I'm stupid, but he hasn't called me stupid, so he's still cool in my book.
TS: Why would he think you're stupid?
KNB: Thirty years, T. It's been nearly thirty years. Did I not mention that?
TS: (Laughing) Yeah, and I agree that's a long time, but think about it. He's your first and last crush. He has to be more than a little flattered to know that. I think that most any man - especially a Christian man - would be honored to be thought of so highly for so long by a woman who is as gifted and respected as you are.
KNB: Thanks, T. See....that's why I like you (laughing).
TS: You heard it here first, folks....Kendra Norman-Bellamy likes me (laughing). Well, I've gone over my requested 30 minutes, and this sounds like a good note to end this interview on. What do you think?
KNB: I'm looking at my clock, and it's a few minutes before three. Three o'clock is my normal bedtime, so I say it's a perfect note to end it on.
TS: Well, this has been great. You are such a down to earth sister. Thank you for your candor and transparency and for sharing a bit of your personal self with me and those who will read this interview. I didn't tell you this before, but you are, by far, my favorite Christian author. To date, my favorite books by you are all three of the books in the Grace Series, plus A Love So Strong, Crossing Jhordan's River, and Battle of Jericho. And I am so looking forward to your upcoming works, and particularly the nonfiction that you have coming out soon. I think you're a not only a highly talented writer, but you have a genuine heart that I admire. Christian writers come a dime a dozen nowadays, but that godly, Christian heart....that's the part that's not that easy to find in people these days. You're a great role model.
KNB: Wow, T, I don't even know what to say. You're about to make me cry (laughing). Thank you. I'm glad to know that you're a fan, and I appreciate all your kind words. But again I say, "To God be the glory."
TS: Like that Mary Mary song says...it's the God in you, chica.
KNB: Yes. Amen. I'm nothing without Him.
TS: I heard that. Well, keep doing what you doing, and let's do this again one day too.
KNB: Just say when.
TS: Thanks, Kendra. Goodnight.
KNB: Goodnight.
